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Introduction: How the System Works

I’ve been a gamer since I was 6 years old. I love gaming. But one thing I can’t stand in recent games is the “wokeness” that has been driving the narrative of many modern titles. For those that don’t know, Urban Dictionary describes being “woke” as “The act of being very pretentious about how much you care about a social issue.” This will not be a page that disparages real issues that need discussion. It will not be a page that mocks any kind of diversity in gaming. It will, however, mock forced diversity for the sake of “wokeness” in gaming.

A good example of wokeness is the recent Lord of the Rings: Shadow of War. Among the NPCs who help you in your quest to free Gondor is a black man and a woman. As we know, Gondor is based off medieval Europe, who were not known for their black soldiers or putting women in the field of battle. If this game were in a modern setting or a different fantasy world (such as Dungeons and Dragons or World of Warcraft), I wouldn’t really care. But Tolkien had a clear point of reference for his work and the game developers ignored it for the sake of diversity.

If my pointing this out pisses you off, then before you call me a racist, consider this: If a series was based off an African story or an African legend that involved only Africans, would you put Asians in it? If you don’t see the difference between this and what I’ve described above, you are a hypocrite and also probably a secret racist. I don’t care what your college professor told you about “white privilege” or some other modern philosophical BS that was made up just to give people another group it was okay to hate.

Introducing the Elder Wokeness Scale:

Now let’s get on with this. Wokeness will be measured in five categories:

Sexuality: Gay? Straight? Something else?

Gender: Male, female, or whatever else might be applicable.

Race: Does it matter if you’re black or white?

Anachronism: Does the above fit in the game world?

Overall: Is the overall experience “Woke”? Is it so woke it gets in the way of enjoying the final product?

Each score will have a 0-5 rating.

0 is a null rating, usually means non applicable in this particular game.

1 means the subject doesn’t matter much in the overall game experience.

2 means the subject matters a little but is not in your face about it.

3 means the subject is present but can be easily ignored.

4 Very woke and in your face about the subject

5 EXTREME wokeness. The game is clearly just a vehicle for this subject and not much else.

For the overall score:

1-5: Not woke at all.

6-10: Somewhat woke, usually not enough to prevent enjoyment of the game.

11-15: Pretty woke. Social justice issues are a major subject of this game.

16-20: Pretty much a Social Justice Warrior’s dream game.

Star Wars Squadrons: Behold, DIVERSITY SQUADRON!

I wasn’t going to review this game. I was a huge fan of the old X-Wing and Tie Fighter (especially Tie Fighter) in the 90s. I played through them and their sequels multiple times. I eagerly awaited this game. I mean, Fallen Order was very politically neutral, how could they possibly make Squadrons woke? Well, they sure found a way!

Gender: 5 out of 5: Most of the characters are female. The New Republic squadron has 3 women and one man, plus the PC (who can be either). The Empire command structure you encounter is entirely female except for one guy. Not only that, but you can make your PC trans as well! Male/female head can be placed on male/female body and given any male/female voice.

Pay attention to his line. It’s very important to the plot! (just kidding, it never comes up again)

Sexuality: 4 out of 5: One gay guy but I’m bumping it to 3 because it really has no place in the story. Then there’s the female “non-binary” pilot, which bumps it to 4. Funny how the term had never existed up until a few years ago but “a galaxy far, far away” uses it already!

Race: 5 out of 5: Once again, no white men allowed! Except for Wedge and a cyborg on the Imperial side. Honestly, I had no idea the empire especially was so diverse! Only a single white male on the entire ship! Also the options for a white PC are very lacking. You can choose between hipster douchebag or butch lesbian.

Woke Squadron! And not a single white person in sight!

Anachronism: 0 out of 5: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, so non applicable.

Overall: 14 out of 20: Possibly the most woke game I’ve ever played, and I played Life is Strange season 2! Anyway, I’m going to go play some classic Tie Fighter as a palette cleanser after playing this garbage.

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Alien Isolation: Play as Ripley’s Daughter in the Coldness of Space

Let’s be clear, when we’re talking about strong female characters who actually behave like women, there’s few better examples than Ellen Ripley in the movie Aliens. Here’s a woman who faced her fear and used her motherly urge to protect to save a child and destroy a monster. She’s a momma bear, protecting her young. Just wanted to show how much respect I have for that movie in particular. (not it’s sequels though, which ruined all the progress made in Aliens).

Sexuality: 1 out of 5: It doesn’t really come up, though there are some families mentioned that fled the station, romance isn’t really mentioned.

Speaking of sex..yeah, you know what’s coming.

Gender:  2 out of 5: Amanda Ripley is the main character, and she acts like a normal person, not a superwoman. She’s smart, clever, and resourceful, like her mother, but if she runs into the Alien, she’s dead.

Race: 1 out of 5: The races of characters isn’t really a focus of the game.

He pops up everywhere but he’s surprisingly bad at looking for Amanda under desks and tables.

Anachronism: 0 out of 5: Sci-Fi so doesn’t apply.

Overall: 4 out of 20: A good, apolitical sci-fi horror game. I’m usually not a big fan of horror games but this one I actually finished!

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Remnant From the Ashes: Save the World from Tree Monsters

I had put this game on my steam wishlist, then Epic store offered it for free! It’s a third person shooter where you go to various worlds to save Earth from tree creatures called The Root. So here we go!

                Sexuality: 1 out of 5: Not really an issue. There’s a family involved in the main story but relationships aren’t really there.

Trees have a language. No, you can’t learn it.

                Gender: 1 out of 5: Men are men and women are women. The player character can be either. The leader of the survivors is a woman.

                Race: 1 out of 5: Also doesn’t really come up, but there’s a black guy who sells stuff. He’s one of the more friendly survivors. The player character can also be any race you want.

                Anachronism: 0 out of 5: Post-apocalyptic future, doesn’t apply.

                Overall: 3 out of 20: A pretty standard game, no real political or social motivations. I had fun with it though the ending sucked.

August Update Delayed

I try to do one update a month but both my computers have been down the last few weeks and I just got my desktop up and running again. I had a couple reviews planned but they turned out not to really have much to review. I’m going to start playing a couple new games in the next month and review them. I’m also working on a political blog on the side. Hope to see y’all next month!

The Sinking City: Investigate the Horrors beneath Oakmont

The Sinking City is a game I had been dying to play for a while now and, though it’s not perfect, it was tons of fun. The variety of monsters is a bit lacking (there’s only really four types that you encounter over and over again), but this is one of the few games that does Lovecraft right.

Sexuality: 2 out of 5: It doesn’t really come up, but there is another gay character shoehorned in which was rare in the 20s. Lovecraft was pretty racist and I imagine homophobic as well so he would not be pleased.

You might of thought I meant “descended from apes” in the Darwinian sense, but what I meant was that his dad boinked a monkey.

Gender: 1 out of 5: It doesn’t really come up. Men are men and women are women. There are some female characters who want more out of their lives, which fits for the era.

Race: 2 out of 5: The only reason I’m rating a two is that the opening of the game talks about not hiding the racism of the era, which I can totally respect. However, the only real racism comes between the Throgmortons, who are descendants of apes, and the Innsmouther “fish men.” The KKK even shows up at one point, killing some fishmen. The main issue with this was there are plenty of black people in town and there was really no racism against them, which is odd if the KKK is ALSO in town. I have no problem with killing the KKK but my issue is they’re essentially racist against a race that doesn’t exist.

Anachronism: 3 out of 5: I’m giving this a point due to the lack of real racism in the era, even though the game warns that it exists in the game. And another point for its attempts to shoe-horn in modern day politics (Corrupt mayor wants to “make Oakmont great again,” also tries to blackmail you into murdering his mother.)

Overall: 8 out of 20: Aside from the above issues and some badly forced modern politics I had a lot of fun investigating the perpetually drenched city of Oakmont.

Control: Warp Reality and take back Control

I had heard of this game and was interested in playing it, though I didn’t know much about it. You play as a young woman named Jessie who has gone to the Bureau of Control, a government agency that investigates paranormal items and events, to find out information about her missing brother. Once inside the building Jessie finds things out of hand, something has gotten loose in the building and she must find a way to retake Control. This game also takes place in the same universe as Remedy Entertainment’s other game, Alan Wake.

Sexuality: 0 out of 5: It doesn’t really come up at all. No one’s relationship does. If someone was supposed to be gay or straight, it never came up.

I didn’t realize it until I went through my screenshots after, but almost every shot I got of Jesse, her eyes are closed.

Gender: 1 out of 5: The main character is a woman but it’s not the focus of the story. If she had been a man the story would not have changed at all.

Race: 1 out of 5: The characters are very diverse but once again, it’s not the focus of the game.

I just had to include a pic of this guy, LOOK AT THOSE EYES!

Anachronism: 1 out of 5: Some of the items Jessie acquires are clearly out of this world but this is explained in game. It takes place in the here and now.

Overall: 3 out of 20: I know it’s a short review but I was pleasantly surprised with this game. I knew you play a female protagonist going in so I expected it to be somewhat woke, but it really wasn’t. Jessie skills and abilities make sense within the context of the game.

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Life is Strange 2: Storytelling or just Virtue Signaling

Let’s make one thing clear, despite it’s wokeness, I liked Life is Strange, Season 1. The characters were interesting and three dimensional, no one was a stereotype, everyone had reasons behind their attitudes and their actions. The plot was creepy and compelling, each episode left you wanting more. Season 2 on the other hand, is, boring. Not just boring, but it virtue signals constantly. It also has you doing a ton of mundane tasks for no real reason, like doing house work, cooking dinner for your little brother, and working on a pot farm. This game was a chore to finish.

Sexuality:3 out of 5. Sean isn’t gay. It never comes up that he’s interested in men. However, the game still gives an option for Sean to kiss a guy. It’s not important to the plot either. But in liberal world, everyone is a little gay, I suppose. I bumped it up another one because of the consequence-free sex that the hippies apparently indulge in at the homeless camp. We know that always turns out well.

And you thought I was kidding about the pot mini-game.

Gender: 2 out of 5. Gender isn’t as important as race in this game, the brothers are clearly the center of it and the game doesn’t demonize them just because they’re male, which, I mean, is good. Though one of the hippies I think is gender fluid which is why I rate it a 2, it’s not really in your face though.

Race: 5 out of 5: Whoa boy, here it is. Apparently even super liberal Seattle is just full of Trump supporting rednecks who HATE Mexicans and will let you about it, including kidnapping and beating a teenage boy. Fortunately, the local liberal hipster looking at nude men in a public place is there to help them. I’m serious. Later on, a couple of guys find Sean sleeping on their property and humiliate him for being a “thieving Mexican.” (they used less kind words, though to be fair he did just steal a car).

Anachronism: 1 out of 5. It’s based in modern times, though the story is clearly a liberal victim fantasy.

Overall:  11 out of 20. The bad guys are one-dimensional caricatures of Republicans, militant pot farmers, and a Christian cult. In the previous game, everyone had motivations for what they were doing. Even the main villain’s motivation made sense in a sick way. In this one it’s like, “Everyone is out to get the poor Mexican children except for the benevolent hippies and liberals.” The boys are constantly reminded that this is a “dangerous time” for “people like them.” The game is based right before the 2016 election and in some of Sean’s chat logs his friends are worried that “he” might actually win, which is funny because no one thought “he”would win until he actually won. Anyway, I’m ranting. Between the clear SJW virtue signaling is lots of really boring content and mini games that don’t actually advance the plot at all. Needless to say, I hated this game.

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Borderlands 3: The Ultimate Looter-Shooter has Returned!

Despite what you may think given my previous entries, I am not a huge fan of shooters. Something must really grab me about a shooter to make me want to play it. I have been a fan of Borderlands since the original. The combination of colorful characters, sarcastic humor, and non-stop action really got to me. So I was very excited to play Borderlands 3 when it came out! However, I was disappointed with some of the wokeness that got shoe-horned in.

Sexuality: 5 out of 5.  This was the real issue. EVERYONE in this game is gay. Okay, not everyone, one character and his wife are essential to the plot. But, Hammerlock is gay (knew that from BL 2 but it was just an off handed comment, in BL3 it’s an important part of the plot) Tiny Tina is a all grown up! (she is also a lesbian now), even Tannis talks about a love affair she had with a mining cart. Done for a joke of course, but she refers to the cart as a “she.”

Gender: 5 out of 5. Most of the main good guys are female. The men are usually sidekicks, villains, or buffoons. Big fail here. Also, I did notice that female psychos and raiders were now included for you to violently murder, how progressive!

You can now turn women into an explosion of red mist just like men, as God intended!

Race: 1 out of 5. Race doesn’t really come into play. It’s a distant future universe.

Anachronism: 0 out of 5. Distant future, anything’s possible, so non applicable.

Overall: 12 out of 20. If you can ignore the fact that everyone in the future seems to be gay and most of the men are either evil or side characters, it’s still a fun game with great villains and even better action. Just ignore the cringey plot if you really want to play.

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Far Cry 5: Redneck Preppers fight Doomsday Cultists!

I hadn’t played much of the Far Cry series before this but I had been told that this game pissed off a lot of “woke” progressives for its portrayal of rednecks as “being normal people who weren’t all racists” so of course I had to give it a try!

Sexuality: 1 out of 5. Sexuality doesn’t really come up a lot in this, besides some light flirting between characters. I may have missed something but overt “woke” sexuality wasn’t really in your face, so I’m giving it a 1.

Pictured: A man whose theology is NOT based on sound biblical values.

Gender:1 out of 5.  Women are just as capable as men and I’m fine with that in a modern setting. The two main female companions, Jess and Grace, have been through a lot which adds to their abilities. They’re not people who just “picked up a weapon and are now awesome.” Jess is a skilled hunter who was traumatized after seeing what the cult had done while Grace is an ex-military sniper. So well rounded female characters all around.

Race: 1 out of 5. It’s a valley in Montana which is majority white. There are some black characters (like Grace and the Reverend) but most are white, which fits in with the area.

Anachronism: 1 out of 5. It’s modern times and there really isn’t any attempt to show it as anything else.

Overall: 4 out of 20. Possibly the most republican game ever! If you want a game that makes you feel good about being a gun toting redneck, this is it. Also I should mention, that rednecks are funny as hell. There’s a reason King of the Hill was so popular!

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A Plague Tale, Innocence:Teenagers vs the Inquisition. Also rats.

                I’ve known about this game for a bit but it wasn’t until watching Razorfist’s twitch play that made me want to try it out. It’s the story of a young French girl named Amicia who is trying to get her young brother, Hugo, to safety through the plagued lands of France, being chased by the Inquisition, who wants him for some mysterious reason. Hugo has a strange disease that seems to be somehow related to the plague of rats which have overtaken the region.

                Sexuality: This doesn’t really come into play; the game is linear and there’s no romantic side quests so sexuality is hard to determine aside from a couple flirtatious lines between male and female characters. These are young people just trying to survive a horrible situation. Score: 1 of 5.

                Gender: The main character, Amicia, is female, obviously. However, she is no superwoman. If she’s caught by the inquisition or the rats, she’s dead (unless she has certain alchemical objects that will allow her to escape once, and ONLY once). The game does well with displaying her strengths as well as her limits. She’s not tackling inquisitors or anything, so I’d say this is a pretty fair representation of a teenage girl for that time period, though her survivability is exaggerated simply because it’s a video game. Score: 1 of 5.

Amicia often has to stop when her little brother is having one of his “attacks.” This is important later.

                Race: It’s 14th century France, everyone is white. The good guys, the bad guys, everyone. Score: 1 of 5.

                Anachronism: Very accurate for the time period. The developers clearly did a lot of research into this dark era of history and they did it without any unnecessary virtue signaling or shoehorning in a political agenda that didn’t fit 600 years ago, well done! Score: 1 of 5.

                Overall: 4 out of 20. A good story-driven narrative that doesn’t try to change history with unnecessary revisionism. Good for a playthrough or two!

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